


The Start of an Age

by Aerica_Menai



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: (Pre-Merthur if you squint; I do see it as endgame, All the knights of round table are together and alive, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Gen, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Non-Evil Morgana, Pre-Relationship, ace!Arthur, ace!Gwaine, but can be read as just friendship)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24638053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerica_Menai/pseuds/Aerica_Menai
Summary: Gwaine and Arthur have a conversation, Merlin has some realizations, and secrets are revealed...
Relationships: Gwaine & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 64





	The Start of an Age

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, Happy Ace Pride Day! 
> 
> This fic would not have come about without a conversation I had with @alicenginger, about how on earth I was going to make an ace!Arthur fic work; and then the forever fantastic @grayraincurtain beta'd as always <3
> 
> Title from Long Live by Taylor Swift
> 
> Timeline is intentionally fuzzy, but relevant facts: Uther is alive (and still pressuring Arthur to marry), Morgana has learned about Merlin's magic and not become evil, all the knights are around and alive, Arthur either is no longer or never started courting Gwen (whichever floats your boat). 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Arthur’s fingers drummed frustratedly on his desk. Where on *earth* was Gwaine? He had sent Merlin to find him *ages* ago, what was – 

But before Arthur could finish his thought, Merlin burst in, Gwaine following. “Sir Gwaine, as you requested!” Merlin chirped. Arthur rolled his eyes even as he smiled fondly and gestured for Gwaine to sit. Arthur was about to start speaking when he noticed Merlin still puttering around in the room. 

For once, he really didn’t want Merlin to hear what he had to say, so he cleared his throat noisily. “Don’t you have chores to do in *other* parts of the castle?” 

Merlin tilted his head as he thought. “Maybe…?” he finally ventured, clearly trying to avoid Arthur’s wrath in case he *had* actually forgotten something. 

Arthur’s lips twitched as he fought not to match Gwaine’s wide grin. “Could you maybe go work on those?”

“Yes, your highness,” Merlin retorted snarkily before leaving in a huff.

Arthur buried his head in his hands as Gwaine’s grin became a predatory smirk. “And what, exactly, is so private and important that even Merlin can’t hear?”

Arthur sighed. “You heard how my father is once again pressuring me to consider marriage?” Gwaine nodded. Arthur averted his eyes as he continued. “I…I wanted to…consult your expertise on the topic.”

Gwaine raised an eyebrow. “You do know I’ve never been married, right Princess?”

“Th-that’s not what I meant, I know that,” Arthur spluttered, blushing. “I – I meant your expertise in – women.” He waved a hand. “Wooing.” He hesitated before mumbling, “Bedsport.”

Gwaine looked startled. “Bedsport?”

Arthur blushed harder but forged onwards. “You know! You and women, what you do in bed!”

Gwaine sighed. “Princess, I – ” 

“Just *tell* me, Gwaine,” Arthur ordered – and it was an order. So Gwaine told him. 

“I don’t – I know what all the rumors say, that I’m some sort of sex god because so many women sing my praises, but…when a woman and I enter a bed together, it’s not – we don’t have sex. I guess, to be more specific, *I* don’t have sex. With anyone. Mostly we talk, sometimes we cuddle, but – nothing more than that, no matter what some might have you believe. But asking about a woman’s life, how her day went, and actually paying attention to her answer – by itself, that’s usually enough to have most maidens swooning and satisfied enough to spread the word about how great I am in bed. Even if it’s not exactly what most people think.”

Arthur didn’t respond, so Gwaine shrugged and kept going. “The secret to my reputation, Princess? Flirting. Everyone expects a flirt to want to go the distance, so to speak – and so they keep flirts at a distance. And those that do want to join me for bedsport, well - enough focused attention and conversation usually brings even greater satisfaction than what they had expected. That’s the game I play, Princess – and it’s not an easy one, I admit. But I make it work for me. Just as no woman owes a man sex, no matter the reason, neither do I owe anyone sex, no matter what society – or Uther himself – might think.” Gwaine noticed Arthur’s flinch at the mention of mention of his father. 

“Anything else I can answer for you, your highness?” Gwaine finally asked gently. 

Arthur waved him off silently, brow furrowed in thought. Gwaine bowed and left, intent on seeking out Merlin- he’d know what to do or say to pull Arthur out of his mood.

*~*

Unfortunately, what came out of his mouth when he did finally find Merlin was an unhelpful, “I think I broke Arthur.”

“What??” Merlin yelped, dropping the herbs he was holding – for some sort of concoction for Gaius, probably. Merlin would have immediately raced to Arthur’s side if Gwaine hadn’t been expecting that and grabbed his arm. 

“Sorry, I…I mean that I talked to him about – something, and he did that whole go-so-I-can-suffer-in-solitude thing and…you should go talk to him.”

Merlin frowned. “What did you two talk about?”

Gwaine rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s up to the Princess, whether he wants to tell you. I’m not going to say it and get myself banished again.”

Merlin groaned but seemed to accept that Gwaine wouldn’t tell him. And Gwaine would bet a lot of money on Arthur holding out against Merlin too; not that Merlin needed to know that, if it encouraged Merlin to get to Arthur faster.

*~*

Merlin’s thoughts raced as he ran through the castle, trying to figure out what on earth Arthur would talk to *Gwaine* about before his supposedly-trusted servant and why that topic would have led to such a reaction. But he couldn’t think of anything, so he just grew more and more worried until he burst into Arthur’s chambers, to find Arthur definitely brooding. 

“Mer-lin! How have you not learned to knock by now?” Arthur chided halfheartedly – never a good sign, Arthur being too distracted to scold him properly, so Merlin got right down to it.

“Gwaine said he was worried about you, sire, and I thought it best to come check on you right away,” Merlin explained quickly. “What did you two talk about, anyway?”

Arthur scowled at him. “Gwaine’s a worrywart, I’m perfectly fine, and it’s really none of your business what we discussed.”

Merlin frowned. “Sire – ”

“No, Merlin, just – leave it alone!” Arthur snapped.

Merlin froze and bowed. “Very well, your highness. I’m needed at Gaius’,” Merlin replied coldly and swept out of the room.

Arthur buried his face in his hands and groaned. He hadn’t meant to offend Merlin – couldn’t a prince have some secrets, dammit? But Merlin wouldn’t let him forget this.

*~*

“Tell me you have herbs you need me to pick, Gaius,” Merlin fumed as he burst into the physician’s chambers. 

“I do not,” Gaius replied, “but I do have a leech tank that needs cleaning.”

Merlin hesitated, then let out a large sigh as he lugged out the tank and the cleaning supplies. “I can’t believe I’m even saying this, but better this than dealing with that *prat* right now,” he grumbled.

Gaius raised an eyebrow. “Arthur must have done something quite awful to warrant his company being worse than your least favorite chore.”

Merlin sighed again. “Gwaine and Arthur had a conversation that left Gwaine worried and Arthur brooding, but...” Merlin slumped. “Neither of them will tell me anything about it. And what on earth would Arthur trust *Gwaine* with and not me??” Merlin demanded.

“Sometimes, my boy, it is easier to talk to someone you know less well than your closer friends. If you had to tell someone about your magic, to stave off far more dire consequences, who would you want to start with?”

Merlin slumped. “Probably not Arthur, Gwen or Gwaine,” Merlin admitted. “Probably Morgana, or…someone else I didn’t know as well.”

Gaius nodded. “Exactly. Do you understand a little better now?”

“Yeah,” Merlin admitted. “That doesn’t mean I’m not still mad at them,” he grumped. 

“As long as you take out your frustrations on cleaning my leech tank and not on either of your friends, I think that’s understandable,” Gaius responded, leaving Merlin to scrub in peace.

*~*

Arthur was worrying about Merlin’s reaction for the rest of the day, especially as Merlin continued to not appear for far longer than usual. Gwaine gave him a pat on the back (and, later, a few worried looks) when Arthur responded to his questioning look with a shake of his head, but Arthur refused to let his worry show; he was a prince, dammit, and he couldn’t show such weakness in front of the people he was supposed to lead. Only Merlin was exempt.

…Not that it was likely that Merlin was going to be appearing for a while. As Arthur returned to his chambers that night, he wondered if he was going to have to prepare himself for bed. Not that he couldn’t, but – 

His train of thought was interrupted as his door creaked open. “Sire,” Merlin greeted stiffly.

Arthur sighed. “Merlin.”

Their usual routine was conducted in an unusual silence, Arthur unwilling to threaten the fragile peace, but not sure why Merlin was staying silent as well. 

After the routine was concluded and Arthur was resigning himself for more cold shoulder treatments going forward, Merlin suddenly blurted out, “I – I’m sorry.”

Arthur paused and turned to face his friend. “You’re sorry?”

Merlin nodded, looking down at the floor. “I – I overreacted, earlier. Sometimes…sometimes it’s hard to tell certain people things, because – they’re too close to us. And I should have listened to you instead of getting angry because of some hurt feelings, and – I’m sorry.”

Arthur swallowed. “I really didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Merlin,” he admitted softly. “I just…I don’t know how to tell you. Or – most people, for that matter. It’s not like I told Gwaine – he just…guessed.”

Merlin nodded. “I see. That…that does make me feel better, as silly as that might sound,” he chuckled self-consciously.

Arthur smiled in relief. “I’m glad. And…I will tell you, one day. I just…can’t yet, okay?”

Merlin bowed. “Understood, Arthur.”

Arthur threw his hands over his face and groaned. “I just – I don’t want you to look at me differently.”

Merlin let out a choked noise and replied, hoarsely, “I promise, sire, nothing you say could do that.”

Arthur nodded, still covering his eyes. “Easy to say,” he replied softly. “Harder to do.”

Merlin let out a long sigh. “Indeed. But…I mean it.”

“I know you do.” Arthur muttered back. “But for now…perhaps we should call it a night?”

“Of course, sire,” Merlin replied. “Good night, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night,” Arthur called back as he heard his door open and close. He fell gracelessly onto his bed. That certainly could have gone worse, and he was happy he and Merlin were back on speaking terms – but the courage to confess to Merlin, about his lack of sexual urges of any kind, was going to be a long time coming. 

*~*

It was another couple of seasons before Arthur was able to wrangle the chance for him and Merlin to go on one of their solo hunting trips. During this time, his father threw multiple noblewomen of marriageable status at him, and Arthur was getting extremely tired of dealing with their schemes and emotions and intruding into his daily schedule and – just, generally reminding him of how inadequate he really was going to be at marriage. 

This was going to be his first chance to relax in far too long, and he was not going to let anything spoil it.

…So of course, about midway into their winding journey, they were beset by brigands. And Arthur reacted too slow to warn Merlin of the last brigand that had snuck up behind him, but fast enough to be watching when Merlin instinctively used magic to send his opponent flying.

His golden eyes were one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen, was all Arthur could think at first. The danger was over, Arthur was frozen with indecision, and all he could think was how something so beautiful could be so dangerous. 

Merlin seemed to be frozen in place, as was Arthur. Neither of them seemed to have anything to say, but brief, wary eye contact allowed them to silently set up camp, each lost in their own thoughts. 

Arthur knew that he should be angry, should be scared, should be – feeling a lot of things he just wasn’t feeling. It just made so much sense – Merlin’s sheer dumb luck, all the times he was supposed to be at the tavern but wasn’t anywhere near it…his promise that nothing Arthur ever told him would change how he looked at his prince.

At that realization, Arthur paused. Did he see Merlin differently, now that he knew? On the surface, yes, of course, but – not deep down. Merlin was still his manservant, his closest friend; that hadn’t changed, and probably never would.

Arthur needed to explain this to Merlin…and also, make a confession of his own.

*~*

Merlin did not know what the hell was going on. Arthur knew – he *knew* – about the magic, Merlin should be running for the hills – but. As scared as he was, Arthur didn’t…really seem that angry. Lost in his own thoughts, yes, but – for him – shockingly calm. Fearful of anything he said inciting Arthur’s temper, Merlin stayed quiet as he set up camp, mind racing through the same train of thought over and over but never reaching an end – not until Arthur cleared his throat behind him.

“Yes, sire?” Merlin asked as he quickly turned to face his friend, and possibly his doom. 

Arthur fidgeted, an unusual sight. “…It doesn’t change anything.”

Merlin blinked. There was no way he had heard that correctly. “I’m sorry?”

“It doesn’t change anything, at least not for me. You’re still my – well, you’re still my best friend, and – I don’t want you to go anywhere,” Arthur muttered. “I know Camelot is the last place you should want to be, but…if you’ve lasted this long, I can help you. I won’t…I won’t tell my father. I’ll protect you.”

Merlin blinked, tears springing to his eyes. “I…really?” he whispered.

“Really,” Arthur confirmed, standing straighter. “I swear it.” He hesitated before forging on. “And…since I know your secret now…” He cleared his throat. “Back then, Gwaine and I were talking about…um. Talking about – ” 

“Arthur, you don’t – ” Merlin tried to interrupt, but Arthur held up a hand. 

“If I don’t get this out now – and I want to – I don’t know when we’ll next get the chance,” Arthur gritted out before letting out a sigh. “We were talking about how I…never have been, and I assume never will be, interested in sex…with anyone.”

Merlin hummed thoughtfully. “At all? Like, what about by yourself – ”

Arthur blushed. “Why am I cursed with such a nosy, inconsiderate friend,” he moaned up at the sky before muttering, “None of that either. Most of the castle just assumes I take care of any…dirty laundry myself. They’ve never pried, and I’ve never actually told anyone…besides you.”

“I…thank you, Arthur, it – it means a lot to me,” Merlin replied softly.

“It is, of course, *not* to be repeated to anyone else,” Arthur instructed sternly, “and your secret is safe with me as well.”

Merlin fidgeted. “Er. About that…”

Arthur groaned. “Someone else knows, don’t they?”

Merlin tilted his head to stare up at the sky. Arthur was not going to like this. “Lancelot, Mordred and Gaius have known for a while. Morgana found out…more recently. I’d guess Gwen and Gwaine have both guessed by now…” Merlin paused. “Probably Percival too, now that I’m thinking about it,” he finished.

Arthur is silent, so Merlin kept staring up, starting the mental countdown; three, two – 

“ALL THOSE PEOPLE?” Arthur burst out. “I might as well be the last to know!”

Merlin sighed as he turned his gaze towards an angry-looking Arthur. “Um. Most of them were accidents, I didn’t – I didn’t want to keep you in the dark, Arthur, I just…I didn’t know how you’d react, and – and the king is your father. How could I possibly make you choose between us?”

Arthur groaned into his hands. “I suppose you have a point,” was his muffled reply. He dropped his hands and made hard eye contact with Merlin, pointing a stern finger in his direction. “But no more secrets!”

“No more secrets!” Merlin promised happily. 

And with that settled, destiny shifted and the Golden Age of Camelot drew ever closer.


End file.
